But making sense of human nature is anything but simple. Human nature has been landscaped, replanted, weeded, fertilized, fenced off, seeded, and irrigated as intensively as any garden or seaside golf course. Human beings have been under cultivation longer than we’ve been cultivating anything else. Our cultures domesticate us for obscure purposes, nurturing and encouraging certain aspects of our behavior and tendencies while seeking to eliminate those that might be disruptive. Agriculture, one might say, has involved the domestication of the human being as much as of any plant or other animal.

Christopher Ryan, Sex at Dawn

outside the window, spring is here
but we’re gonna hibernate all year
under a pile of A4 snowflakes


brows up, brows down
in the rearview mirror at a stoplight,
examining the fine lines
left by time tiptoeing from left ear to right.

some notion of fairness tells us
that blemishes clear by wrinkle season
yet lines and spots seem to get along fine
on my face, like Morse-coded imperfection

across the table in the dim hip light
i feign eye contact, sneaking glimpses at your forehead.
your lines are deeper. have you frowned more,
thought more, been shocked more times than i?

we are new to each other; we will never know
the space between our smooth-skinned selves.
i barely know your father but i see already
you are, as years crawl, becoming him.

here i am, back in tumbl-land

and I’m not sure what all to say. it’s been 6 months and i am the same but everything is different. i wake up at 6am. my eyes are glued 10 hours a day to two screens propped in the corner of an office that is too big for just me. there’s not a single day that the sun doesn’t shine. my evenings are spin classes and maybe dinner and bed. california hills rise around me but i don’t know who to climb them with.

my three best friends within ten miles are all jewish boys. at least one of them makes me laugh aloud each day and that is what i need. 

i pine for the city and the life i left every day. being an adult is mostly what i thought it would be. let’s see where tumblr fits in.